That’s right, an addition to the Yellow Green Red family! The first Consumer Report post. Let me explain: see, I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling retail fatigue when it comes to new records (since when did over $20 become the norm for a full-length LP?). It just doesn’t seem right or fair! And just as that has been setting in, I’ve been spending an unhealthy amount of time on my new favorite website, Discogs.com, buying records and occasionally selling them and just getting a feel for the digital marketplace that exists. If you’ve been on there yourself, you’ve probably also noticed that A: 80% of all records currently reside in Europe, B: those European sellers expect top-dollar, and C: there is no limit to the human’s ability to be a nerd. In my recent online digging, I’ve come across some really great deals, and plan on sharing those here when the mood strikes me. This post is about hardcore/punk/garage from the ’90s, and I think the next will be techno! Why waste your time chasing the latest ‘manufactured rarity’ when you can grab five killer singles for under $25, right now? If you are reading this post, and these records are no longer available on Discogs for less than five dollars a piece, it means my work here is done.

Code 13 A Part Of America Died Today (Havoc, 1998)
You probably know Felix Von Havoc as the standard for what an American punk rock lifer is – self-made, never sold out even slightly (you won’t see him in a Scion), massive record collection in custom-made shelves, leather jacket, MRR column, was chased out of a window by cops while Gordon Solie Motherfuckers played, etc etc etc. His band Code 13 was always good, and always under-appreciated, but their last single A Part Of America Died Today is an absolute monster. In a subtly-conceptual presentation, one side is full of blasting thrash tracks, speed-core that rivals anything on Slap A Ham, and the other side is the “punk” side, raging just as hard but with a focus on memorable choruses and circle-pitting (“Give The Kids” sounds like a 7 Seconds song performed by Jerry’s Kids). You probably need their whole discography (it’s just three singles and a split), but this is the place to start.

Humpy Humpy (Beer City, 1996)
Make no mistake… yes, it’s that Beer City Records! I know people love to joke about this, well, joke-worthy label, but I bought some of my first 7″s from their Thrasher magazine ads, thank-you-very-much, and when it comes to suburban gutter-punk, there is no finer stamp of approval. Humpy kind of side-steps all of that though by just being a completely out-of-control, violent-sounding punk band, accidentally stepping into a d-beat puddle and flailing with drums that just don’t quit. There are eight songs here, one of which is called “America Online” (which you’ll probably have to explain to your children one day), and it rages too. Plus they are from god-damned Montana and called themselves “Humpy”. What else do you want?

Jellyroll Rockheads Intense And Mild EP (625 Productions, 2000)
Okay, so it’s from 2000, but I’m not gonna let this heat pass because of a technicality. There was a great little window of time where hardcore bands were still willing to try something new, just as wacky thrash was rearing it’s brim-flipped head and kids were starting to learn about the multitude of amazing ’80-’82 hardcore that was utterly obscure before the internet came to town. Jellyroll Rockheads were hyped at the time, and for good reason – their music is utterly manic, possessed and hyper-fast (in that way that only the Japanese can do), like they took the concept of Melt Banana and applied it strictly to hardcore-thrash. They’re the sound of hardcore suspended in mid-jump. Plus, the 625 Productions label (later dubbed 625 Thrashcore) is full of overlooked dollar-bin gems just waiting to be enjoyed (among a large assortment of stinkers, to be sure). And furthermore, there is currently a copy available for $1.55… skip your lunch-time Twix and grab this instead!

Sad Sack Heinous Bitch (ERL, 1991)
Out of the five records I mention today, this is my top pick. When the Killed By Death series finally catches up to the ’90s, “Heinous Bitch” is going to be the first track on side A. Imagine a recording of Bobby Soxx singing for Flipper and released on the Siltbreeze label, and I say that with very little hyperbole! Can’t tell if the drums are a human or a machine, it’s just so damn trebly and painful, and the vocalist absolutely slobbers all over these songs like he’s rabid and about to die and just doesn’t care. All this with a guitar solo that’d make Watery Love blush! ERL is a pretty cool and frequently overlooked noise-rock / punk label from the ’90s, and this is the finest piece of art they’ve ever bestowed upon us. Mandatory listening, I say!

Unholy Swill Tapeworm In My Head (Noiseville, 1990)
Unholy Swill have a thick and meaty discography, and while some of their records are valued in the double-digits, you can still get this killer slice of fuzz-crusted belligerence for cheap. Imagine if GG Allin never got famous, and instead got married and had a couple kids, restricting his utter contempt for humanity to the shack in the backyard where he keeps the lawnmower and a room-temperature case of beer, and you’re close to the miserably-masculine suffering of Unholy Swill. The vocals are so burly that it occasionally sounds like a Muppet-ized El Duce, but there’s just so much distortion and ugliness to the recording that it still sounds great today. They’re like the miserable security guard that would confiscate Drunks With Guns’ beer and drink it themselves, and I will forever love them for it.